Recently, I’ve found myself in a bit of a rut. While it’s the same lack of motivation as usual, this time I’m facing a problem I haven’t encountered before.

I’m actually feeling a bit lost when it comes to reading.

This is something that hasn’t happened before because I usually can seamlessly transition from one book to the next. With the recent habit of keeping records, I’ve even been able to complete two or three books each month, a level of achievement I couldn’t reach before.

So, what happened this time?

In reality, I’m not entirely sure. It could be due to the fact that, because of the record-keeping, I find myself putting more effort into recalling the connections between books, gradually creating a sense of hindrance. Or perhaps it’s because I’m too eager to finish a book, using it as a way to appreciate my glorious achievement and attain a sense of psychological satisfaction.

But, ultimately, this thing is no longer driven by curiosity or, should I say, the purpose has gradually shifted. I’m starting to feel the pressure, slowing down my pace. Although I’m still relentless, reading at least five pages of a book every day, hoping to gradually find my purpose.

A few days ago, I was listening to the Reading Outpost introducing “30 Challenges for Time Management” and interviewing the author - Esor from Computer Tech Station. He talked about not fighting procrastination; procrastination is an emotion. Understand yourself and use your procrastination to gradually accomplish things.

Then, starting today, I began reading it and came across a passage where the author wrote:

The English version is tranlate by ChatGPT, I will fix it later.

This should be my second time working in Taoyuan.

The first time I came was because of a job assignment at a music school. At that time, I was assigned by the boss to work between two different branches. Honestly, I found it quite interesting and got to know different store employees and guitar teachers. I’m not sure if I had my own biases, but I always felt that musicians were a bit eccentric, unconventional, and their attitudes often changed when it came to their preferences, which always piqued my interest and led me to chat with them.

Sometimes when I look back on that period, I can’t be sure if it was a happy and joyful time or if I was just trying to escape and find another way. But I am grateful that during that short period, I met various people with different personalities, adding some color to my memories.

This time, after a gap of a few months, the nature of the work is different, and it’s the hot summer season.

The English version is tranlate by ChatGPT, I will fix it later.

During elementary school, what were you in such a hurry to get home for?

To do homework? Or was it because your family had prepared a special hotpot dinner for you, and you couldn’t wait to indulge?

I remember during my elementary school days, when I rushed home after school, besides the fried chicken wings waiting for me, my immediate goal was to turn on the TV and watch my favorite animated shows. The journey home was a race, and I always took the shortest route. I would hurry as fast as my legs could carry me.

In Taiwan during those days, there were cartoon programs on weekdays from 4:30 PM to 6:00 PM. We only had free-to-air channels, so I couldn’t enjoy as many channels as my friends, but that one and a half hours of cartoons was all I needed.

Those days were quite special. I would rush home, eagerly anticipating dinner while my eyes were glued to the TV. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen, even during dinner. It was only when the boring news started that I would reluctantly shift my focus to my homework while keeping an eye on the TV for the 8 PM program.

Reflecting on those days, I remember them fondly. But as I got older, I became engrossed in video games during my junior high school years, which felt like a perfect balance between games and animated shows. After high school, due to the longer commute to school, these habits gradually faded away. After coming home, there was barely time to eat and focus on schoolwork.

This lack of self-arranged routine seemed to continue into my professional life as well. I have been searching for an answer – something I could do every day that excites me.